Bon Ton for Gentlemen

Etiquette—or simply good manners. Just the mention of them can give you chills, tempting you to hide behind a guise of spontaneity. Yet in certain situations, you simply can’t do without rules. Whether the occasion demands it or all eyes are on you, the guidelines to follow are clear and nonnegotiable. The good news is that once you embrace them, you’ll find they aren’t so bad after all. They become your reliable playbook, a smooth carpet to walk on that helps you avoid embarrassing slips.

First things first: the bouquet. Proper etiquette insists that the groom gives it to the bride. Have it delivered to her home or hand it to her personally when she steps out of the wedding car—find the approach that feels most authentic to you. Just know that this gesture is an essential part of the journey you’re about to embark on.

Offer your arm—or at least your hand—whenever your bride-to-be needs support. Between the dress, the veil, high heels and sheer emotion, moving gracefully can be a challenge. Being there to steady her is more than polite—it’s necessary. Above all, it’s a demonstration of that attentive spirit you hope to carry with you every day, toward the person you love.

It may sound dramatic, but this is no empty warning—it’s a promise. Tradition calls for the groom to write a letter to his fiancée shortly before the wedding day, pledging his devotion. And if you’re truly old-fashioned, you might still serenade her beneath her balcony. It’s a last-minute romantic flourish guaranteed to melt away any lingering nerves.

If you’re a naturally meticulous person—perhaps even known for it at work—here’s one rule you can’t bend: be on time. Arriving punctually means greeting your guests promptly and ensuring your mother is seated—just a few steps from the altar or in the church foyer, depending on your ceremony—while you wait to welcome the leading lady of your love story.

Wool is the traditional fabric of choice, though in warmer months a wool-linen blend is perfectly acceptable. A tailcoat should always remain buttoned, and if your celebration extends past 6 p.m., proper etiquette calls for white tie. Avoid tuxedos—they’re not quite right for a daytime wedding—and skip the separate lounge suit unless your ceremony is explicitly informal. Your shirt must be classic in cut, with a stiff, turned-down collar if you’re wearing a waistcoat. Choose a silk tie in a subdued tone—nothing too loud.

Don’t match your pocket square to your tie; opt for neutral hues instead. Wear dark, over-the-calf socks—no short or light-colored ones. If you arrive in gloves and a hat or overcoat, remove them during the ceremony and carry them in your hands. A single boutonniere—a gardenia or white carnation—will do nicely, and you’ll likely find inspiration in the day’s floral décor.

Accessories should be minimal: cufflinks, a watch and perhaps a lapel pin. Leave chains, piercings, extra rings and bracelets at home. Above all, present a clean, polished image—well-groomed hair and, if you wear one, a neatly trimmed beard.