Anniversary Curiosities and History

Promises renewed year after year, testifying to a bond that grows stronger with time; milestones sealing a love that becomes ever more complex, nuanced, and intimate. We’re talking about anniversaries…

In the Middle Ages, German custom dictated that when a couple reached their twenty-fifth year together, the bride would host an extravagant feast. At that celebration she was crowned with a silver wreath—a piece meant to be replaced by gold on their fiftieth anniversary. By the early 19th century, such rituals had become a fashionable indulgence proudly recounted by the urban bourgeoisie. Today, thanks to its allure, the tradition has captivated the entire Western world—yet a century of marriage remains an almost mythical achievement. After all, “bone” anniversaries are simply the work-in-progress markers of a journey defined, moment by moment, by ever more tangible meaning for those who live it.

It goes without saying that anniversary celebrations, too, are governed by the rules of etiquette. For the discerning or merely curious, Emily Post’s 1922 classic Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home still offers surprisingly relevant guidance. Here are a few highlights…

According to Anglo-Saxon tradition, each anniversary corresponds to a material—mineral or plant-based—that grows more precious as the years go by. Thus, the first year is paper; the fifth, silk; the tenth, tin; the fifteenth, crystal; followed by porcelain, coral, ruby… and so on, leading to the most iconic milestones: the twenty-fifth (silver), the fiftieth (gold), the sixtieth (diamond).

Did you know that gifts—whether exchanged between spouses, presented by guests, or used in the décor—should reflect these anniversary materials? A few etiquette “musts”: never give pearls to the bride (they symbolize tears), but diamonds are fully embraced as bearers of good fortune for the couple. On major anniversaries—typically the twenty-fifth and fiftieth—the recommendation is to retrace, anew, the pivotal moments of your original wedding day. Often the local mayor officiates such celebrations, symbolically affirming a bond that has weathered time without losing its value. Vows are renewed, a banquet is held, and sometimes favors are redistributed. Some couples prefer a more private observance—just the two of them, or with only a few cherished friends, face to face.

Celebrating the first wedding anniversary is almost obligatory—even informally—but the true turning point is the twenty-fifth year. A quarter-century together signifies a stable relationship that still has room to grow, eventually becoming indestructible. From the twenty-sixth year comes a new phase: more mature, more self-aware, more wise. And if you approach your fiftieth anniversary with the same spirit, you won’t be the only ones moved to tears on that special day.

Whatever anniversary you’re marking, don’t miss the chance to celebrate—and don’t overlook the details. Dust off your wedding shoes and wear them on a dinner date; surround yourselves with the friends who shared your “I do”; recreate the ceremony in ways you couldn’t before; and, above all, cap the celebration with a small but unforgettable romantic getaway.