How to Choose Your Wedding Witnesses
28 December 2020
How do you pick your wedding witnesses? If you have brothers or sisters, it’s straightforward—but for only children, the choice can feel tougher. You don’t want to show favoritism or stir up resentment among friends. To avoid hard feelings, remember that, by etiquette, witnesses should be drawn from the couple’s closest friends or family.
Keep in mind that witnesses are expected to give a particularly meaningful wedding gift. In practice, it pays to feel out your prospects in advance to make sure they’re happy to take on the role.
Keep in mind that witnesses are expected to give a particularly meaningful wedding gift. In practice, it pays to feel out your prospects in advance to make sure they’re happy to take on the role.
What Witnesses Do
Formally, witnesses ensure the marriage is legally binding. Practically, they lend a hand with wedding preparations. A popular touch is to arrive at the church in a rented car—maybe from Ghisu’s well-stocked fleet—accompanied by your witnesses. They’ll often look after the rings and organize the bridal shower for her and the bachelor party for him.
Throughout the planning and on the big day, witnesses should be ready to support you: helping with last-minute details, assisting during the reception, and—if you have a religious ceremony—presenting the customary offering to the officiant afterward.
Choosing someone capable and dependable is essential, because you can’t afford mishaps on your wedding day.
Throughout the planning and on the big day, witnesses should be ready to support you: helping with last-minute details, assisting during the reception, and—if you have a religious ceremony—presenting the customary offering to the officiant afterward.
Choosing someone capable and dependable is essential, because you can’t afford mishaps on your wedding day.
How Many Witnesses Do You Need?
You need at least two witnesses—one for the bride and one for the groom—but you’re free to have more. You might not want to exceed ten, but you can certainly include multiple friends or all your siblings.
If you’re torn between candidates, consider drawing names from a hat at a dinner party. That way, no one can claim favoritism, since the selection was left to chance.
Though we’ve talked about siblings so far, any adult relative—uncles, aunts, cousins, even adult children—can stand as witnesses. They should receive a special gift of their own, distinct from the favors given to other guests.
If you’re torn between candidates, consider drawing names from a hat at a dinner party. That way, no one can claim favoritism, since the selection was left to chance.
Though we’ve talked about siblings so far, any adult relative—uncles, aunts, cousins, even adult children—can stand as witnesses. They should receive a special gift of their own, distinct from the favors given to other guests.
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