Weddings Tied by… Reality

There was a time when proxy marriages were common: you’d send an envoy with all the proper documents to say “I do” on behalf of the actual bride or groom. That “I do,” though spoken by someone else, was legally binding and had to be honored. Those are stories of the past. Today, something similar can happen when two strangers agree—fully aware—to marry on a reality TV show.

After a full wedding ceremony with invited guests and a honeymoon, the couple lives together for six months. If it doesn’t work out, they can separate—at the show’s expense, of course. But sometimes—even if rarely—things don’t go according to plan. What started as an ironclad contract can turn into an inescapable trap, where a simple technicality feels like a life sentence.

You don’t have to go as far as joining a reality show to feel overwhelmed. Nowadays, many couples, pressed for time or peace of mind, hire a professional wedding planner to handle the details and take on a host of responsibilities. But for the uninitiated, that can add stress instead of reducing it. So proceed with care.

• What does the service cost? Is it commission-based or a flat fee?
• What are the working hours, and what exactly does the package include?
• Who covers travel expenses?
• Is a deposit required, and when is the full balance due?
• Will the reality show pay vendors directly—or will you?
• Are there any other out-of-pocket expenses you need to plan for?

If having an expert on your side puts you at ease, make sure your chosen planner really is a go-to authority for your big day. Here are seven key questions to ask before you pick up a pen and sign a contract:
1. Will you attend the dress fittings?
2. Are you responsible for sending invitations?
3. Will you organize the bachelor and bachelorette parties?
4. Do you work alone, or do you have a supporting team?
5. Do you have a backup plan in case of rain?
6. Will you handle all vendor contacts—from the photographer to the car rental?
7. What are your legal liabilities in this role?

…and ask for references. Remember: even in a reality-show setting, your relationship with the planner is binding. It’s built on clear communication, professional respect, the couple’s willingness to delegate, and the planner’s commitment to serve. A good planner is accommodating without being intrusive—offering suggestions, never demands.

Meet face-to-face before you commit. Agree on your preferred communication channels—email, phone, text—and confirm a backup in case of illness. Finally, ask about their résumé and past events; proven know-how is a key ingredient for a successful wedding.

With these tips in hand, you’ve done your part. Now focus on the practical details: how long will your planner stay on the wedding day? If they’re involved throughout the reception, reserve them a spot at the head table. Check whether they’ve worked with your chosen venue before. These small courtesies are well worth it—after all, every cog in the machine must run smoothly to make your celebration a success.