Marriage Through History

In legal terms, marriage is the union of two individuals—civilly, religiously, or both—typically solemnized by a public ceremony that confers on each spouse a set of mutual rights and obligations. In Roman law, the matrimonium was simply the bond that legitimated children born of the union, just as the patrimonium was the means by which one could best provide for one’s offspring. This institution dates back to antiquity and over the centuries spawned a rich tapestry of traditions blending folklore, symbolism, superstition, and religion.

What mattered most was cohabitation. A contract was drawn up between the bride’s guardian and her future husband—but it only had force if the couple lived together afterward. The Greeks even had a term, εγγυησις (engyesis), which became invalid if the partners started living under the same roof before the contract was in place. In short, cohabitation was essential for recognition; without it, the union dissolved immediately.

Three circumstances could annul the marriage: if the wife left of her own accord and refused to return; if the husband sent his wife back to her parents’ home; or if her father insisted on a separation.

To avoid any doubt about the marriage’s legitimacy, the vows were proclaimed aloud—there were no civil offices to certify a wedding’s completion. January was deemed the ideal month for weddings, and a customary rite was a purifying bath at sacred springs—Callirrhoe in Athens for Athenians, Ismenion for the people of Thebes.

Prostitution, extramarital affairs, homosexuality, incest—the ancient Romans were remarkably uninhibited. Monogamy was the only requirement. Originally, living together ‘with affection’ sufficed, but under Roman law the idea of a “legalized family” emerged, sealed by a public ceremony that recognized the couple’s duties and privileges in society.

The ritual formula was “Ubi tu Gaius, ibi ego Gaia” (“Where you are Gaius, there I am Gaia”), whereby the bride moved from her father’s authority into her husband’s. The jurist Modestinus called it “a partnership for life,” and it became a legal obligation. On the wedding day—chosen by an augury—the groom would present fresh bread to his bride, and she would wear a white dress, an orange veil, and a wreath of flowers.

Ever wonder why the bride stands to the left of the groom? Go back to the Middle Ages, when marital customs could be brutal. The groom was expected to kidnap his bride—drawing his sword with one hand and clutching her with the other—often from a rival clan. He would hold her captive for at least a month, the time needed to finalize the union.

With the spread of Christianity and barbarian invasions, those practices gave way to stricter moral standards. By Justinian’s reign, extramarital affairs were condemned. The verbum—written and signed pledges by both parties—became the formal promise of mutual belonging.

After the fall of the Western Roman Empire, disorder reigned until the Fourth Lateran Council in 1215. The Catholic Church declared marriage an indissoluble sacrament based on the free consent of both spouses, required public banns, set minimum ages for marriage, and laid out grounds for annulment—kidnapping, violence, non-consummation, and so on.

Under the principle “Cuius regio, eius religio,” many in the 1600s had to conform to their sovereign’s faith. In Lutheran territories, the State took over marriage registration and regulation, while the Council of Trent solidified Catholic doctrine.

Civil marriage was first established in revolutionary France in 1791. In Germany, Otto von Bismarck introduced it in 1875, separating church and state: religious ceremonies became private, and only the civil procedure carried legal weight.